Falter.

You know... I've been kind of bummed lately, because I think my writing has been faltering.  I never expected this blog to become a catalyst for me to write again, but it really has, and I've disappointed myself by not having been very clever or creative over the past month or so.  And not just the writing, but the improvs, too.  I've been letting my comfort control the situation, and really just taking a back seat to whatever feels easy.  Is it possible that I'm running out of ideas?  Or is it just that my mind has been sidetracked?

In a lot of ways I feel like whatever it was that had been feeding me creatively toward the beginning of this project has disappeared.  It's a little bit scary.  And though I know this happens, and it's totally normal, I hate to think that all the florid and fantastical channels that I once danced around in with carefree curiosity, might now be shut off.  Maybe I'll never find those places again.  And that thought really inspires a feeling of loss.  Because some of those places made me feel euphorically happy just to daydream about them.  And if I can't reach them again?

Could it be that I'm getting tired of this project?  Certainly it has been a huge commitment; much more than I ever imagined.  But I am still trying, still wondering, still working to get somewhere.  Maybe I've lost sight of where I could be trying to go.  But... then again, I never knew exactly, or even generally where that might be.

Maybe this is just a lull.  There are usually lulls during journeys, right?  Yeah... I'm at one of those moments where I'd rather just stay in the hotel instead of going to explore the town.  I just need a little rest... then I'll be ready for more.  That must be it....

Here we go, Day 260: https://ia600307.us.archive.org/33/items/Improv43012/20120430211509.mp3