Dreams.

Today when I sat down to do my improv, I had about half an hour to play before my friend came to pick me up for a hang.  I wasn't particularly inspired, and didn't have anything in mind except to get some stuff on record before the day was over.

What came out right off the bat, without my permission, was a blues.  I don't even know why.  I haven't been sad, or "bluesy."  I went with it, anyhow, and I'll post it down below so you can all hear.  My second improv, I decided was going to be a little lighter, and it was, but I just wasn't feeling it.  I even thought about quitting before I felt "finished," but didn't because I know that sometimes it doesn't feel as good as it sounds, and I wanted to give a fair shot.  The next one, again, without permission, was another blues.  And the following one still had elements of blues in it.  I kept going with the improvs, just to see what else I could bang out.

So what I've been noticing more and more, now nearly two weeks into the project, is that there are some motives and shapes that just seem to want to come out.  Some of them are exactly the same as a week ago, and some are modified, but recognizable.  Is it in the shape of my hand, and the physical aspect of it that my muscles just like?  Or my ear?  Both?  And then there are the musical styles that just happen.  Like the blues today.  I don't know how to play the blues.  I like the blues, but I've never learned them.  Why the blues?  Why today?

What I'm concluding is that improv is essentially a waking dream.  There are things that come out in the music that are both conscious and subconscious.  We can guide the dreams if we're aware, and can control certain elements, but then there is an entirely different portion that just happens that we're not even sure where it comes from.  The subconscious feelings that have been locked away, or recalled parts of the past, present, future, are all expressed through improv.  Maybe this sounds far fetched, but I think I'm on to something.  It makes sense, then, why playing music is such an emotional release... perhaps it gives us a chance in our awakened state to ask impossible questions, play out alternate scenarios, and talk to our long gone friends, everything that we do when we dream....  And we're able to work toward freeing ourselves from internalized and unresolved conflict.  I'm sounding to myself full of hooey.  But maybe?

Here we go, Day 13: https://ia600705.us.archive.org/16/items/Improv82711/8_27_118_03Pm.mp3
and Day 13, part 2: https://ia600501.us.archive.org/35/items/Improv282711/8_27_118_17Pm.mp3